Any discussion of happiness provokes debate about what it is and if it can be bought with money.
Research consistently shows that the path to happiness is somewhat complex. In 2003 I gained international recognition for defining the ‘formula’ for happiness. Since then I have been delivering workshops and seminars all over the world on the Art of Happiness.
I recently made the film below about happiness and we are excited about showing it to you and reading your comments.
I want to find out from as many people in the World as possible their thoughts, feelings and observations about “What Is Happiness?’. Please make your comments below and pass on this post to anyone you think is interested in HAPPINESS.
I think being free from worry brings about the most happiness.
So often we think, if I just had …… then I would feel…..
In reality though, I think if you try to get the feelings in the first place, then the other stuff falls into place.
For example, if you think, I need to have more money to be happy, then you probably want peace of mind and freedom from debt which really means you want to feel relaxed.
So really we should focus on trying to get the end result- of feeling relaxed.
I think it’s easier said than done though! For me it is anyway.
Very liberating and inspiring… Pete Cohen makes it sound so easy and simple to achieve happiness and that’s what we all need – Simplicity and positivity! May we all be happy!
I think that focussing on being happy, is a surefire way to not be happy, but if, instead, I focus on small things that are important to me, doing a job well, adding some finishing touches that weren’t required or expected, delighting in surprising someone to make them feel special, the wonderful connection through gentle touch of a dog nuzzling into my hand, feeling the sun on my skin and enjoying being blinded by the brightness rather than reaching for sun-glasses, eating something because I know it will heal and nourish my body and soul rather than feeding my emotions, saying a kind or encouraging word just because ‘I can’… I find that by focussing on and endless stream of little things, and always looking out for opportunities to give, or to make a difference to someone, I just end up feeling happy, thinking happy thoughts, looking for and believing in ‘the best’ in people … AND FINDING IT…. lots of it too! Goodness is all around us if we just look for it.
So, without any preparation or fore-thought, that is my response to the question of happiness.
It is something that becomes harder to find the more we search, and if we just be peaceful and focus on the good and positive contributions we can make … it becomes part of who we are.
Reba
Thanks so much for your beautiful and heartfelt comments Sheena, Sara and Reba.
Please invite others to look at this and leave their comments as I want to start a world wide debate about what happiness is
Take care and have a great weekend
Pete
well…
for me, the definition of happiness depends on the situation
there are some reason why people get happiness
I can’t explain as well because everyone have their own reason to pursuit happiness
but for me, if I can live longer and see the sunrise everyday that’s the real of my happiness
Great video bro x
I think happiness is the fruit of a life well lived, a life that reaches out to others not one that is concerned only with oneself. Money certainly does not bring happiness although obviously bills have to be paid but possessing more and more ‘things’ just means we end up being possessed by them, the very opposite of freedom and happiness. When I am concerned with myself, whether it’s my weight or worries about the future, then I am miserable. When I live in the present moment enjoying my family or the beauty of nature etc then I am truly happy, truly alive. Pete, you are a power for good and that is the best recipe of all for present and eternal happiness.
Happiness reasons varies from person to person.It can be some reason for me but it can differ for others.
Happiness for me is looking at the sky and as weird as this sounds trying to spot clouds that make a shape or an animal! or after coming home in the dark tilting my head back while walking so I can get a better clearer view of the stars. Happiness for me is when im doing things for other people that makes them smile, or babysitting the little people (as i like to call them!) and watching how they are happy and excited. They don’t have the stress or the worry or the fear that we gain as adults they see the world for what it is clear as day. I used to not have a care in the world was laid back and excited to explore the world I was in now Im desperate to get that back and the little people help me get a small piece of who I used to be. And for that Im grateful and happy!
It would seem to me that neither food nor money would be able to satisfy our need for happiness. We try to find it outside of ourselves and we get lost along the way. I love your blog.
Thanks for your kind words Lauren, Ben and Philippa
Please spread the word and encourage others to watch
for me i think happiness is being positive in live , and never looks what in the hands of others and forgetting what you have in your hands !
Thanks Pete for another great and thought provoking video.
Happiness to me is sharing. We came into the world with nothing and we will leave it with nothing. So while we’re here we can share what we have, especially what we cannot buy e.g. love, time, etc.
I feel happiest when I am with others. To chat and listen to them. Both mine and my husband’s families are 100′s of miles away and we don’t get to see them as often as we’d like. However, we are lucky to have brilliant neighbours and villagers who have welcomed us into their community. We have a sense of belonging and purpose to take care of our environment and each other.
Money and material things are not the glue that binds people together or brings happiness. It’s the sharing/giving of your time, love and helping each other through the good and bad times which binds people together.
joh
Hi Pete!
Loved the film. Take us all on a journey to be happier and healthier.
I have a friend who starts the day with " first day, last day" with that attitude he lives life to the full.
For me I believe in a mind/body/sprit balance. Happy positive thoughts, keeping fit and time to conect to nature and sprit.
Everyday I teach my son to look for thing to be grateful for. Even in the hardest situations there are things we can learn and be thankful for.
Thanks so much for all your comments.
Please pass this link on to others as I am really keen to start a debate about Happiness and what it is.
Thanks once again you are all such great people who are prepared to share your wisdom with others
I feel that this is in fact a complex and in-depth subject and difficult to write a short comment on. I feel there are different levels of happiness for different people, partly linked to one’s choice of perception and awareness. What if life is school? One doesn’t learn lessons from being happy, one learns from the painful and difficult experiences and making mistakes. One’s willingness to learn and grow from these experiences I believe are what brings one closer to a state of happiness. In our mortal lives one cannot get away from grieving for a start which is generally a painful and sad experience for most humans, if not all. Right now I’m particularly thinking of parents who lose their children. I very much feel that community, caring, support and giving to others contributes to a happier life. To reach that real deep state of happiness, not just fleeting moments in life, I cannot see any other way other than consciously following a path towards self realization, one that will lead you to ultimately know yourself, to grow, to understand, to be aware, to live consciously and honestly, to see through the veil of illusion and delusion, especially one’s own. Because happiness to me is found in simplicity, in letting go of selfish attachment, having no expectations and doing your best to be at peace with yourself, in other words connecting with higher self and knowing we’re not perfect but if we stay aware then when we sidetrack we can just pick ourselves up and learn from it and grow even more. This is an endless subject for me but I know one thing for sure, a sense of humour and being able to laugh at yourself definately helps.
I tellyou whats happiness. It got nothing to do with money, houses, cars or professional success. Coming home and having a person waiting for you who loves you makes me happy. And if you can complete this with a couple of kids I think nobody is happier than me.
Andy, how would you cope if that was taken away from you? Would you be happy? I’m curious, given that this is a debate.
PS to Andy: I really like your sentiment by the way but wrote my question to you in haste, so please don’t get me wrong, I really was curious. I’ve seen people have a wonderfully happy life one day based on your sentiments and be completed stripped of it with tragedy the next.
I also think that how sensitive or thick skinned one is determines happiness. In fact, I’m starting to see just how many determining factors there are. I do think money helps, depending on how one uses it or view is. Let’s face it, financial struggle isn’t fun is it? To be financially confortable doing a job you love without worrying about paying the bills and having some cash left over for fun and holidays helps, let’s face it. And anyone who is disproportionately overpaid like our footballers, can always give it away, because there is also happiness in giving Come on Rooney, give us your money and make yourself happier in the process.
happiness to me is being with my family and seeing my grandchildren grow no amount of money can do that also happiness is knowing pete because he has such a great out look on life, and life is what you make it well done pete, hope the move went well xx
when i am at work, i smile and greet colleagues, partners, clients in a friendly way. I ask them if they need help or what I can do for them, I joke with them.. they mostly stare at me and ask me why are you so cheerful? And I answer: Because I am happy!
Happiness for me is giving LOVE and a strong believe in myself!
I Love hugging people, sharing this feeling of love with them, or I tell them that all will be fine… just need to believe… Not easy at times as people get scared or look at me if I am on drugs or from a different planet.But I find that most people are feeling the vibration and it comes back to me..which is great and it makes me even more happy.
Try it.. it is nice.. it might take some time but it works.
XXXX
This post is really thought-provoking. Hmm.. happiness for me means being contented with what you have. You may be asking for it or not, you still have a positive disposition in life. It is a feeling of contentment deep within you. Thanks for posting this. I enjoyed reading all the comments as well.
Pete, again you have reached out and touched our hearts. This film for me was slightly hard to watch as it made me realise how long I spent being so unhappy until I decided to make the necessary changes – and am still making them. (As you say, if you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got) I think happiness has to come from being content – that and also feeling supported in everything that you do be it by friends, family, loved ones. The constant desire to have more and reach further because society makes you feel that you should always want more, including a partner and a 2.4 family) makes a lot of us feel inadequate I think. However, being truly happy has to be something you measure for yourself and therefore what/how you choose to measure that is up to you. Thank you Pete, you are a constant inspiration.x
Wow Pete, Deep stuff!
We are all conditioned through our upbringing, religions and life experiences to believe many different things. This means we will all have differing opinions about what happiness is to us.
Being a self confessed self help junkie and studying mind body connections over the last 10 yrs, i’ve come to the conclusion that true happiness can only be achieved once we are able to free our conscious and subconscious mind of all negative conditioning and belief systems. In doing so we will free our mind of fear. As we know fear leads to anger and anger manifests itself in many different ways eg. Mental anguish, physical violence and / or spiritual denial. Now, i’m not sure about you but every single person I know is suffering from some sort of anger related condition……. be it, depresion, low self esteem, low confidence, bullying, weight gain, self harm, eating disorders …… the list could go on but I think you get the gist!
Most people are not even aware of their negative self belief systems. As the experiences or traumas which caused them were either too long ago or happened at such a low level that they were imprinted onto the person in a subconscious way. The good news is that all this can be reversed. The natural state for the body and mind is one of Joy. If you are not feeling joyous or you are experiencing a form of anger, you know you have some emotional blockages.
It’s only when we release our negative emotional energy that we are free to realise our potential and open ourselves to the synchronicity of the universe and experience true happiness. Imagine a world full of happy people, living a life without fear…….. How good would that be?
Hope this helps
Wishing you all joy and freedom
Sarah
I enjoyed this video – it’s beautifully made and is extremely thought-provoking.
I am not sure if I can answer the question though. To a certain extent I think it’s about appreciating and enjoying what you have in your life not. But I am not sure I can define what it is. It’s important to remember though that it’s not a destination – I think that’s the predominant message I will take from your video.
As a nurse I have seen many people in the end stages of their life. There is a `quiet acceptance` that many adopt near their end. Not all. Some fight to the last breath, but to those that accept their lot, always seem at peace with themselves. If only we could learn to cultivate that `quiet acceptance` of our lives on an everyday level, perhaps happiness would come to us? Everything moves so fast, that it is essential to find some time to reflect. Some do it in prayer, some in groups – some find it in religion. It really does not matter how you reflect, but sometimes when you do (but not always), you find some sort of inner peace. Is that happiness? Or is it that you just stop fighting with yourself and accept your lot? I dont know the answer. I know that sometimes it brings about a calmness though, and you cannot buy that with money.
I think happiness is something, with a bit of luck, you enjoy in the moment. It flits in and out of our lives. I can’t define is exactly, but think it’s all the little moments throughout the day which add up. Having the sun shining on the way to work without having to defrost the car, happy that I have transport, but when it is frosty enjoying how it glistens. Coming home to someone who cares for me, even if some nights its only the dog. Waking up each day with relatively good health.
I don’t think it’s possible to be happy all the time, but I am happy most of the time and for that I’m grateful.
Love this film Pete x
I am so deeply touched by all your kind words and observations. Thank you so much
Please pass on this on so we can hear from others
http://www.weightlossguru.com/index.cfm/2010/6/18/What-Is-HAPPINESS/
I remember a quote I heard when I was a teenager, that has always stayed with me.
‘Happiness is a butterfly which when pursued is always just beyond your grasp, but if you sit down quietly may alight upon you.’ Nathaniel Hawthorn 1804-1864
Many people pursue happiness through many different avenues, but it often eludes them.
For me happiness is being content….not only with what you have, but who you are.
It’s a great video Pete (thought you were going to get rid of that sneeze at the end you funny man!)
I think happiness is being content. I think it’s also important to share life’s experiences.
What is happiness?
I think it is being comfortable with who you are and sharing your peace and wisdom with others. (Sounds like you Pete!)
I have been told recently that I am an inspiration as I have finally found myself and am comfortable with who I am. For me, if I can make a small difference to one person every day then I have achieved everything I want to. (Hate the way this makes me sound smug and self-satisfed though – and that is the result of the society we live in- it doesn’t suit a consumer led society for us all to be happy or we wouldn’t be hankering after new shoes and handbags!)
Well done on a thought provoking video.
Floss x
i am unhappy and i dont know how to be happy anymore.
i have wonderful family and grandchildren. i am healthy. I have a nice job. i love the world and all its beauty. I have lots of friends. I smile at everyone and i help any one who needs it if i can. I do lots of exercise and i eat healthy foods. I think most people who know me would say that I was a positive person who was happy.
But i have ended up at 50 with negative equity on a house (due to a failed business venture) that i dont like with neighbours who are mean. I dont have the money to do the things I want to. I spend every day scared at what letters will drop through my door. i wake up every morning with my teeth hurting where i have been clenching them in my sleep. My husbands business is failing and our incomings dont cover our outgoings. I dont think i will be able to repay the mortgage. i am petrified what the budget is going to do to us.
i try to be happy for the sake of my family and your video is lovely but some problems are insurmountable and in the world we live in there is just not a simple way out. I know its wrong but in my case money would solve all my problems and would make me happy. Isnt that dreadful!!
Im sorry this is depressing reading for you but i feel a little better having written thse words down and said them out loud.
Dear Tricia,
I’ve been where you are at and I empathise with you. My run of disastrous circumstances lasted 10 years in total and there were several times when I thought things were unsurmountable and couldn’t possibly get any worse…so I am sorry you’re experiencing such tough times.
Let me say that is that I think it’s a good thing that you felt safe and trusting enough in the other people on this site, and in Pete, to post your blog and speak with such honesty, especially in the face of such a long list of positive and upbeat replies that have been posted already.
I’m sending you a hug, because at the very least, I can tell you how great I think you are for being so resilient and coping with what you’ve been through – and for being strong when you most need to – for your family.
Aside from supporting your family, do you have anyone to support you?
Reba x
If you want to reply (you don’t have to of course) you can do privately to reba.danson@hotmail.com
No Tricia, that’s not dreadful, it’s just necessities you are asking for not a bag full of luxuries.
You sound as if you have all the ingrediants to be happy, just money worries are hampering you. I wish there was something I could do to help, I wish you were my neighbour!
Just know were thinking of you and I too send you a big hug.
Love BikerB x
Hi Tricia
I just wanted to reiterate what the others have said. I admire you for what you have posted as actually it takes a great deal of inner strength to post a comment as honest as yours.
It sounds like things are tough and I am also sending you a big hug. I am glad it helped to write things down.
Dear Tricia,
I watched a great video on Byron Katie’s website the other day about worrying about the future.This lady in the video is worrying about what happens to her in the future. She fears being a bag lady and homeless. Might be worth having a look at.
http://www.thework.com/watch.php?cat=watch&yid=TobKYgnIi5E
The whole idea is that she is worrying about the future, but it hasn’t happened and she’s already placing in herself in the future in her mind, and experiencing the horrible feelings.
Sheena x
Thanks Sheena … I think worrying about the future is something anyone can relate to – I’m going to watch it and bookmark it.
Reba
X
Thank you for all your kind words this afternoon everyone x I have felt such great warmth from you all. You are all very special people. and im sending you all a hug back x
And sorry Pete if i have taken your great happiness debate off in a different direction today. But your people have all touched my heart today and made me a little happier x
Being happy makes people suspicious, I find! I am happy and love to spread it around but it can unnerve some people. It is powerful and heart filling and I am very glad I have the HAPPY gene. Happiness and kindness go together and those who are not happy tend to be unkind and it is something I do not understand. Life is a gift and it should be used like one. Cherishing. My name is Charlotte Murray and I AM HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xxx …My daughter Sorchia age 9 just came into the room and said to me " I need to tell you something Mummy. When I look at your face it makes me happy" WOW!! Must be catching!!!!
Great video and lots of little gems for you to find each time you watch it.
Odd question but does anyone know what the opening music is or by who please? It sound really nice.
Also nice to see a different side to the usually funky Pete. This would make a great 30 min documentary!
Hi everyone
I have just made a new video blog called "The Junk Food Generation"
Have a look and please join the debate
http://www.weightlossguru.com/index.cfm/2010/6/27/The-Junk-Food-Generation/
Many thanks
Another thought provoking blog. I’m someone who is finding it easier to be happy through living in the moment – mindfulness is something that helps us focus on the now. It’s sensible to analyse the past, to avoid repeating mistakes, and plan for the future but to live in either place means we don’t get to enjoy NOW – whether it’s the stunning blue skies, the company of a loved one or anything. As Hillary Jones says being happy is amazingly linked to our health and there’s some great research about the things that help us stay healthier for longer – check out http://www.bluezones.com/ for more information. There are days when you can recognise being happy and days when you’re back on the hamster wheel of life but being able to recognise being happy is a great step forward!
Live in the now and see if that helps!
I feel ‘happiness’ is to a certain degree part of our genetic make-up. Some people are born with more serotonin in their brain than others for example. I am also aware that our environment plays a huge role in our positive expression. That being said, however, in most cases we ultimately have the choice to create the life we want.
A similar example may be a certain disease or illness that runs in families – we have 90% control over our positive genetic expression – meaning that the way we CHOOSE to live will result in optimal health and prevent the negative expression. That is huge. Depending on our actions/efforts alone, we can change our health – either positive or negative. The same can be said for our ‘happiness’ gene, if you will.
Creating a better life ultimately resides within us in most cases.
Once again thanks for all your insights, opinions and wisdom about this interesting subject.
Please pass on the link for others to watch and comment
http://www.weightlossguru.com/index.cfm/2010/6/18/What-Is-HAPPINESS/#comments
Many thanks
Pete
Happiness is an emotion like sadness, love, hate, curiosity, revulsion, excitement and it occurs when our surroundings are controlled by use. I mean circumstances.
I believe everyone should have goals but happiness comes from enjoying the journey and appreciating the small things along the way, being kind to yourself and others and being thankful for every day.
Splendid film.
As has been said, most people live their lives in quiet desperation, and anything that can make even a few people stop that thinking or appreciate ‘just living’ more is a rare gift.
I think happiness comes from living in the present moment fully, by seeing whatever your doing not as just a means to an end, but fully experiencing what is happening right now! For example when people are having a shower, they are usually thinking about the day ahead of them instead of enjoying and fully experiencing the shower! Its all about the joirney not the destination
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle is an amazing book that goes in depth on this, I cant reccomend it highly enough.
Interesting footage…What a strange subject happiness is. I think our perception of happiness is perhaps somewhat distorted due to the media. The media is something we see everyday and where ever we are, the media influences us.
Pete,
Great film, made me feel happy, I think ; )
Hope all’s good with you.
Michael
I Think Happiness is about enjoying your time whatever your doing.. and above all enjoying the emotions that we are able to experience.. even if you have sad times, frustrating times…you should feel lucky to have the ability to feel such real emotions which show you are caring and passionate on whatever level that is.. if you can enjoy these emotions then Happiness will always be around you..and when you have happy times you will feel overjoyed and completly in tune. If you enjoy your emotions, then you feel happy in the moment wherever you are, whatever your doing and however much or little you have.
Great Film Pete, very inspiring!!
Thanks
Thanks Adam for your comments.
Not only are you a great guy but also a great chef
Happiness is just not a life without having difficulties, but rather the strength to overcome the problems that come our way. There is absolutely no such issue as a problem-free life; difficulties are unavoidable. But how we encounter and react to our challenges is dependent upon us
Happiness is knowing you can cope with whatever life throws at you.
Life is hard sometimes.
I just showed this short film to my college students as a primer to discuss a new unit on defining happiness. It really got them to open up about what makes them happy and why they struggle to find happiness. Many of them have had difficult upbringings that make them feel like they are regulated to a life of misfortune. I feel that through the film and discussion they are seeing that unhappiness is not their birthright.
Thank you for making the film. Was it made into a series? I wasn’t able to find it in any other form.
Truly great film, Pete! To me, happiness is a state of mind. It’s a choice of joy and peace. Something that I find myself needing reminding of every once in a while. Thanks for the reminder. I will be sharing it as often as possible. With a happy heart, thank you.